


Blackbird, Fly

by jodem



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:18:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jodem/pseuds/jodem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sansa tries to escape sexual abuse from her boyfriend Joffrey and his friends. Given she's away at college, her brother Jon Stark, attending the same college, is the only person she feels like she can go to for help. Despite their awkward and almost nonexistent sibling relationship, Jon does everything he can to help her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sansa could not feel anything. It was freezing outside and there was mascara running down her pink cheeks. Anyone that drove by could see there was something wrong; her favorite pink cardigan was ripped open and she held it shut with her arms; the buttons were no longer functional and Sansa had to do what she could to stay warm. Ripping her clothes off had been her boyfriend's idea of a good idea at his fraternity's party--showing off his girlfriend in front of all the boys at the party while they all laughed and jeered, telling her to loosen up.

None of her friends had been around and she barely managed to escape just as he was auctioning her off for the night for one of his friends to have their way with her, despite her loud protests and the tears streaming down her face. Sansa was sure there were bruises forming across her body. Every part of her was shaking and she had to summon all of her ambition to not let out another couple of sobs.

The only thing she had managed to grab before she fled was her cell phone, which she’d set down on a nearby table after Joffrey had called her over. She’d sprinted out of there quickly, but without her phone she wouldn’t have been able to do much of anything. Her keys, coat, and shoes were all still at the fraternity house and there was no way she would have been able to grab any of them. And her roommate Margaery hadn’t even grabbed her phone, thinking the party would be safe, so there was no point in calling her and asking if she would let her into their room.

Sansa scrolled through her contacts list with shaking hands. There were tons of contacts in her phone but few she felt she could call on without being embarrassed or made fun of for being her “regular prudish self” as Joffrey had put it. The only person she thought she could possibly get to pick her up was her brother Jon.

She didn't want to call Jon (her brother didn't need to see her like this or know about her horrible relationship with Joffrey Baratheon) but at this point there were no other options. The many numbers in her phone did her little use when she couldn’t trust them to not rat her out to Joffrey or care enough to pick her up this late at night. Jon was the only member of her family going to the same university as she was and, despite herself, she pressed the call button.

It only rang a couple of times before she heard, "Sansa?" She had never called him before--especially not around three in the morning.

"Jon?" She asked shakily, trying not to burst into tears again. "Can you come pick me up?"

There was a slight pause and then a, "Where are you?" Sansa heard the sounds of him getting up from some creaky furniture and she felt horrible because she could tell she woke him up. His voice was groggy and layered with sleep but he was her only option and she hoped he would understand and not blow up at her for waking him.

"I’m on frat row,” she said meekly.

"I'll be there soon, alright? Stay where you are.” Sansa heard the telltale click of him hanging up and put her phone down by her side. More than anything she wanted to keep walking so she could as far away from Joffrey and his friends as possible, but she lowered herself to sit on the curb. She was so thirsty from crying and tried to dry her eyes before Jon arrived. That night had been the most humiliating night of her life and Jon was the only person she could bring herself to call. The last time she had talked to him was a few weeks previously when he'd driven her home for Bran's birthday. Jon had never been anything to Sansa but the illegitimate brother her mother hated. And now she felt she was using him as a way to rid herself of her problems despite her never being there for his.

What would he think of her when he saw her like this? Her hair was a mess, not pristine with flowing curls like it usually was. Everything had been ruined either by the boys that had mussed her up in an attempt to get lucky, or by her own tears and attempts to wipe them from her face.

Jon arrived a lot faster than Sansa had expected. He pulled up in his rusty black car that was who knows how old. Every other time Sansa had been expected to get into the car she had felt her face flush with embarrassment because she didn’t want anyone to see her in it, but now it was the most welcome sight she had seen in her life; it was her savior.

It took a minute to open the door, but she eventually yanked it open and climbed quickly into the vehicle. Immediately, Jon’s eyes widened and he asked in a stern voice, "What happened, Sansa?"

He knew.

Jon didn't even pull away from the curb; instead he stared at her with his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. There was no way she would be able to bring herself to talk about everything that had happened without becoming embarrassed. Jon would think less of her, even if he didn’t outwardly say it. He would never directly hurt Sansa’s feelings, but she was closer to even Arya than she was to him and he probably thought she was the type of girl to get drunk at parties and let everyone touch her.

"I don't want to talk about it," she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. The idea of her being composed and strong in front of Jon went completely out the window.

He gave her a long, hard look and she avoided his gaze, staring down at her hands as tears fell onto her lap. Jon quietly reached into his back seat and tossed a blanket on top of her, which she eagerly wrapped around herself, curling up as best she could in the passenger seat of his small car.

"Please, Jon."

He stayed quiet for a minute, contemplating, before putting the car into drive and pulling away. The car was silent for a few minutes until Jon finally spoke up again. "Did anybody..."

"They tried."

Jon visibly gripped the steering wheel tighter and that made her feel a little better about having called him. “I’ll take you back to my apartment for the night.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. Sansa was filled with relief. She had no desire to try explaining why she had to flee so quickly and why her keys, coat, and shoes were not on her person.

When they arrived at the apartment complex, Sansa looked up and noticed it was one of the higher end ones—likely paid for by their father. Jon had refused their father’s help with his car, wanting to be responsible for something, but there was no way he could afford a car and an apartment by himself. Sansa stayed huddled in the blanket while Jon ushered her up the stairs to the third floor. While Jon fumbled with the keys she asked, "Is your roommate here?"

"No," Jon replied. "He went home for the weekend so don’t worry about waking him.”

Sansa had never been to his apartment before. The place was as tidy as any college age boy's apartment would be. There was a stray pizza box on the stove and the thought of eating made her feel sicker than she already was. She felt dirty.

As if reading her thoughts, Jon motioned to a door. "There's the bathroom. My bedroom is right next to it. I'll sleep on the couch."

“You don’t—“

“Don’t argue, I sleep there most nights anyway.”

She nodded and made her way to the bathroom quickly, shutting the door behind her. What remained of her clothes, she stripped off and threw onto the floor. They remained in a heap as she stared at them; more than anything she wanted to throw them away—despite being her favorite, there was no way she would be able to wear them again without remembering, even if she did manage to fix them.

A knock on the door startled her, but it was just Jon. “I’ll leave you some clothes on my bed for you to sleep in.”

“Th—thank you!” She called back.

Sansa took her sweet time in the shower, scrubbing her skin raw and trying to make herself feel clean again. Once satisfied, she debated between using either bottle of men’s shampoo and just rinsing her hair. With the hope that it didn’t contribute to what she knew would be similar to a walk of shame in the morning, she used the familiar brand of shampoo and conditioner.

It didn’t take her long to dry off and wrap a towel around herself to make her way into Jon’s bedroom. The only clothing she didn’t toss into the garbage was her underwear and bra and that was just because she didn’t want to feel disgusting in the morning.

It was an explosion of clothes and papers, but there were the promised pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt out on the bed for her. Sansa dressed quickly and had just pulled the covers over herself when she realized there was no way she would be able to sleep.

The night kept playing through her mind and she ended up crying all through the night.

Jon came in early the next morning with a glass of water (not waking her, not even a little) and sat down on the edge of the bed. He offered her the glass, which she gladly took and drank from in the most unladylike way she could have ever imagined herself doing.

"Will you tell me what happened now?"

Sansa met his gaze before quickly glancing away. “It’s not something you need to worry about. I can handle it myself, alright?”

“You called me at three in the morning. Don’t I have a little bit of a right to know what’s happening?” Jon paused to give her a chance to speak, but she said nothing. He continued, “Did it have to do with Joffrey?”

Her silence was answer enough for him. Sansa watched as his fists clenched tightly on his sheets—she knew he was angry but she didn’t want him to get reckless. Quickly, she brought her hand on top of his. “Please, Jon. Just leave it alone.”

Blue eyes met green for an intense couple of seconds before Jon finally muttered a, “Fine.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. If this was Robb, she would have kissed him on the cheek. But this was Jon and she hadn’t ever been as close to him growing up. She had spent most of her time with her mother while she was home, and Jon avoided Catelyn Stark like she had the bubonic plague—but it was for good reason, because whenever Jon had been around, her mother had just given him icy stares until he finished whatever it was he was doing and left.

They sat there in an awkward silence for several minutes until Sansa finally spoke. “If Margaery didn’t grab my things, I’ll have to go back and get them…” she said quietly.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

She hesitated, but nodded. The last thing Sansa wanted was to go back to that house by herself. But hopefully her roommate had thought to grab her things once she’d disappeared. Once Sansa went to text her, she realized her phone was dead. “Do you have a phone charger?”

“Sure.” Jon stood up from the bed (it creaked loudly, Sansa noted) and dug around the bedside table before handing her the end of it.

Jon left, mumbling something about breakfast and gently shutting the door behind him. After waiting for a few minutes, her phone flashed on and it went off rather obnoxiously. She had six texts and two missed calls from Margaery and her heart sank as she realized that she’d forgotten to even tell her friend where she was. Sansa chose to call her, rather than text.

“Where in the fuck have you been?” Margaery answered. “I was worried sick—you couldn’t have sent me a little text or tapped me on the shoulder? You left all of your things there. Are you hurt?”

“It’s alright now. I can explain later, I’m sorry. It was an emergency. But I’m glad you grabbed my things. I don’t have to go back there.”

Margaery’s voice immediately softened. “Did something happen? Why didn’t you come get me?”

“It’s… I had to get out fast. But I’ll be back soon and then we can talk. I stayed at Jon’s last night.”

“Jon?” She paused. “As in your cute brother Jon?”

“Yes, if you want to put it that way.” Sansa couldn’t help but smile a little. “I’ll come back soon, alright?”

Sansa said goodbye and set the phone down on the table so it could survive the ride back to her dorm without dying. Sansa heard Jon rummaging around in the kitchen. When she left the bedroom, he was standing in the tiny kitchen staring at the cupboards. Jon noticed her almost instantly and said, “I was going to make you waffles or something but…”

“You haven’t gotten groceries in weeks?” She was feeling a lot better than she had the night before. The realization that her brother was so near and willing to help made her feel a lot safer than she had last night. Sansa vowed to try to spend more time with him; she knew hardly anything about his life aside from what she overheard while he was talking to someone else in the family. Their car rides home were full of awkward silence for the whole ten hours it took to drive; the only time either of them spoke was to ask if the other was hungry or wanted to stop for a bathroom break.

Sansa briefly wondered if Jon thought she hated him as her mother did before he broke her out of her thoughts and said, “I guess you’ll have to take care of yourself for breakfast. I would take you out, but…”

Looking down at her outfit—too big sweatpants, an oversized t-shirt, and what was probably terrible bed head. “Yeah, I… thank you for last night. For everything.”

“It’s my job, Sansa.”

“Please don’t tell anyone—not Robb. Or Dad. Just… please?” She pleaded.

He let out a long sigh, looking away from her. “Alright,” he said, defeated. “But if this happens again…”

“Thank you so much, Jon.” This time she gently wrapped her arms around him. He stiffened slightly and Sansa realized she couldn’t remember the last time she’d given him a hug—everyone else slathered him in hugs, but not Sansa. Sansa was proper and pristine, just like her mother.

“You’re welcome. Are you ready to go back or do you want to stay here a while longer?”

“Let’s go,” Sansa said. She grabbed her cell phone from the bedroom and approached the front door where Jon was already waiting, coat on and car keys in his hands. That’s when she realized she didn’t have any shoes. “I don’t have any shoes.”

“You can borrow my black rain boots,” Jon said, gesturing to the corner. Sansa slid them on and they were out the door.

She thanked him one last time before getting out of his car and calling Margaery once more on the very little bit of charge she’d gotten at Jon’s apartment. Margaery opened the door for her and the first thing she said was, “Well aren’t you a hot mess.”

“In a minute.”

Margaery nodded, leading the way to their shared room. When they arrived, Sansa sat gently onto her bed, Margaery following suit. “What the fuck happened Sansa?”

“Joffrey…” Sansa looked down at her hands. “He wanted to show me off to his friends.”

Margaery’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding me.”

Sansa explained everything to Margaery in as much detail as she could bring herself to reveal without crying again. Her friend nodded and frowned, hugged her and cursed Joffrey violently.

“I don’t want any trouble. I’ll just… pretend it never happened, quietly break up with him… I don’t want this to turn into something huge, alright?” Sansa glanced up at the girl in front of her. “You can’t tell anyone what happened.”

“What did your brother say?”

“I didn’t tell him anything. He and I aren’t very close so he didn’t ask many questions when I told him I didn’t want to talk to him about it. I made him promise not to tell anyone in the family about it, and I don’t think he will.”

Margaery frowned. “If that’s what you want…”

“It is.”

“Alright.”


	2. Chapter 2

The thought of contacting her brother to ask if he would like to go out for lunch made Sansa Stark feel mildly uncomfortable. He would think it odd and she would probably regret asking as soon as he reacted, but she decided that calling him was the best thing she could do. Jon was there for her when she needed it last weekend, so she wanted to make sure he knew that she was more than willing to be there if he ever needed anything.

In the end, she decided a text message would be less awkward than a call. Her fingers tapped effortlessly to form the words, _Hello Jon. Do you want to get lunch sometime this weekend?_ She hit send without a second thought, setting her phone down so she wouldn’t stare at it and anxiously wait for a reply.

Instead, she focused on continuing the project that was curling her hair. Her hair was her favorite thing about her appearance; it was the one thing she could adapt and change to her will. Sansa trimmed it and kept it as healthy as she possibly could, never putting more product into it than there needed to be and giving it a deep conditioning treatment every two weeks. It was red, like her mother’s, and she figured that was probably one of the reasons she loved it so much.

Sansa remembered the time when Arya had spit gum in her hair and she’d cried for hours after her mother had to cut off several inches to make it look alright again. She had never wholly forgiven Arya for that, now that she thought of it.

Truth be told, she missed the rest of her siblings. Robb had decided to go to school closer to home so he could continue learning their father’s business from him while he went to school. Arya was a junior in high school, Bran a sophomore, and Rickon in the seventh grade. When Jon had applied to go to school hundreds of miles away, Sansa hadn’t cared much except for that she would miss his presence around the house. But then when her time came, she’d been accepted to the same school as Jon. She didn’t care much then, either.

She was a freshman now, just finishing up her fall semester. It was hard for her to believe that she had been so near Jon geographically and had never thought to contact him or ask how he was doing. Jon hadn’t asked her how she was doing, either, but she figured that was because she had never shown any interest in the fact that he existed.

Now was her chance to have some sort of relationship with him before he graduated and went on to bigger and better things. She was more than a little grateful for everything he’d done for her despite their awkward relationship and was determined to repay him in some way.

Her phone buzzed on her vanity, yanking Sansa from her thoughts. Checking it, she found a reply from Jon: _Sure. Tomorrow?_

Sansa felt herself smile. He’d taken a bit to reply, but he probably had other things on his plate given finals were so close, so she didn’t think much of it (except for the small part of her that insisted this was going to be the most awkward lunch of her life and Jon knew it would be too). She replied to him and set a time, glad that she would have a day do prepare herself with things to say to him to keep a nice conversation going.

“Who are you talking to?” Margaery asked, looking up from the book she’d been reading. “You’re not going to do anything with Joffrey, are you?”  
Sansa felt a pang in her stomach. “No, I haven’t spoken to him since last week except to send him a text saying that I didn’t want to see him again.” That was one night she didn’t want to remember, despite wanting to do everything in her power to thank Jon for his help. “He never replied, but I think he got the message.”

“That’s good,” Margaery said, yawning. “I’m bored. This was the least interesting class in the world and the textbook is no better. Can we go do something?”

“What did you have in mind?” Sansa had no desire to go to another party, even if it was as far away from frat row as she could get.

“We could go shopping for a while and maybe see a movie.”

“That sounds nice. Let me finish my hair.” Sansa did just that, Margaery waiting as impatiently as she could without losing herself.

Unfortunately, as soon as they stepped on the bus that would take them to the shopping center, they ran into Joffrey.

“Sansa, my love,” he said mockingly. His friends snickered around him. “Why haven’t you called me in the past week?”

“You know very well why she hasn’t,” Margaery snapped, grabbing Sansa’s wrist gently. “Come on; let’s wait for the next bus.”

But the bus had already closed its doors and they would have to wait until the next stop at least before they could rid themselves of Joffrey and his jeering friends. Sansa could feel herself getting a little sick as her cheeks turned bright red. They had all seen her completely topless by no choice of her own, despite what they were going around campus telling people. _Sansa Stark’s a slut._

“Sansa broke up with me, the little slut.” Joffrey turned back to his friends with a wicked grin on his face. “Soon she’ll learn that _no one_ ,” he turned back to stare at Sansa, no longer with a grin but with a very fierce and frightening expression, “breaks up with Joffrey Baratheon. Come on.” They all left as the bus stopped and continued on their way, but Sansa was shaking.

“It’s alright, dear.” Margaery tried her best to calm Sansa, bless her, and it worked a little but not as much as the girl was aiming for. They arrived at the shopping center, Sansa shaken but a little better, and looked around for some nice things. Once she had put the bus incident behind her, Sansa had suggested buying their Christmas gifts for their family members. Margaery only ever bought for her father and elder brother Loras, since he was the only one she ever saw any more, and this year she bought him an expensive wool sweater.

Sansa bought things for all of her siblings and both of her parents. This year she felt like doing something special for all of them rather than her usual buying gifts just to get them something. She decided not to buy anything for anyone but Rickon (he’d just wanted a simple video game Sansa had heard of but had never had any interest in playing). She and Margaery ate lunch in the food court, Margaery mocking her old professor and making Sansa laugh.

The two of them were good roommates, despite having gone in without knowing who the other one was. Sansa had vaguely heard the name Tyrell before from her father’s business, but she had never paid much attention before she met Margaery. They quickly became best friends and started to do everything together. Margaery didn’t seem to have a problem when Sansa said, “I don’t think I want to go to any parties for a while.”

“I’ll stay in with you; it’s probably best for both of us anyway, since finals are coming and everything. We can help each other!”

On their way back to the dorm, Sansa worried about her lunch with Jon the next day. She hoped he didn’t expect her to explain what had happened the week before because Sansa felt she was never going to be able to talk about it without getting upset and embarrassed, but surely Jon had already heard a couple of the rumors about her. There were a lot of people on campus but there were also a lot of people Sansa knew from all over campus and word could travel fast. _At least he hasn’t said anything to me_ , she thought.

Even if tomorrow was slated to be the most awkward day of her life, Sansa felt like she was ready to take on the challenge of befriending the one brother she had never cared to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I'm trying to take this story slowly so I don't lose motivation for it. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think I'm updating this too fast? I might start going by a schedule but I guess I want to see what you think.

Sansa stood at the entrance to her hall and checked her various social media sites for something to do while she waited for Jon’s familiar car to pull into the parking lot. She’d received several messages from classmates questioning her about last Friday’s events. The only messages she responded to were the ones asking what had really happened because they knew Sansa Stark would never act like that, even if she had been trashed.

Her reputation was quickly becoming trashed, but she did her best to ignore the negative rumors circulating about the events of that night. Having just graduated high school a few months previous, she knew the rumors would die down as soon as something else exciting happened that they could talk about. She knew the rumors were Joffrey’s fault; he was going to do everything in his power to ruin her life at school. She could always transfer if things got too bad, but that was the last thing on her mind.

Jon pulled into the parking lot and Sansa felt her worries slip away and warp into anxiety about trying to build a relationship with him. There was so much she didn’t know about him that a good sister should know about her brother and she hoped that she could start to learn more about him.

With a smile, she walked out to his car and opened the door (it stuck a little, like it always did, but she was only mildly annoyed by it this time).

“Hello!” She said brightly.

Jon nodded and examined her suspiciously with his blue eyes. He definitely looked like a Stark, unlike Sansa who most definitely looked like a Tully, like her mother. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked finally.

Sansa knew this was coming. “Yes, of course. I just… I want to hang out with my brother, is that so wrong?”

Jon raised his eyebrows and turned away from her, seeming to accept her explanation. “Where are we going to eat, then?”

“You know the area better than I do,” she pointed out.

Sighing, Jon decided to drive and not say much else to her. Sansa was worried that she was intruding on some plans he’d made previously and that he’d only decided to go out with her because he was worried. But then he asked, “Have you started studying for finals yet?”

She let out her own sigh. “Unfortunately, yes. I’m not sure how well I’ll do in my political science class.”

A small grin appeared on his face. “I felt the same way when I took my political science class. My professor was pushing ninety and had no idea what was going on the majority of the time.”

“Was it Dr. Frey?”

Jon turned to look at her. “If you have him too, you know how painful that class can be.”

Sansa felt herself smile. “One time he gave the exact same lecture three days in a row. I made it a point to attend every class for some reason.”

“I didn’t,” Jon said.

They continued to talk about their classes and finals, Jon telling her loads of stories about the different professors he’d had throughout his couple of years at the school. When they arrived at the restaurant, it was one Sansa didn’t recognize. They continued talking as they wandered inside and got their table. Jon told her which professors he would recommend and which she should never, ever dream about taking a class with. He knew much about the school and she couldn’t believe she’d never talked to him about it before. Soon, though, the conversation started to die out as they each ran out of things to say. That was the last thing Sansa wanted.

“I don’t think I know anything about your roommate,” she said suddenly. “What’s he like?”

“Sam?” A look of contemplation crossed Jon’s face. “He’s… Interesting. He’s definitely not the type of person I would have ever thought I could be friends with.”

Sansa had never realized how interesting it was to listen to Jon talk. He was great at telling stories, which were not a trait she would have expected from her brooding, usually quiet brother. Then it hit her that she had only ever been around Jon for extended periods of time while her mother was around, which was when he was too afraid to talk about much of anything for a fear of getting a dirty look from her. Sansa really had no idea what Jon Stark was like, and that made her kind of sad.

She continued to prompt her brother with questions and he didn’t seem to mind answering them. They ate and talked some more, Jon venturing to ask her a few questions about her life in college.

Sansa hadn’t known anything about Jon’s girlfriend Ygritte while he was dating her, and she only learned about how Ygritte had led him down a very dangerous path that almost led to him getting some jail time, but he’d been able to leave the situation before things got too bad. Jon felt bad leaving her, but he explained that he couldn’t deal with the way she lived her life.

Having always been a sucker for romance, Sansa thought the story was beautiful. The only thing that would have made it better was if Jon could have pulled Ygritte from that life and they’d purchased a house in suburbia to raise a family in; Sansa knew it was ridiculous, but she didn’t care. 

Their lunch was very informational and she felt a little closer to her brother as he dropped her back off at her hall. She didn’t give him a hug or kiss him on the cheek, but she felt a lot better about their relationship than she did before. Jon drove away and she turned to walk into the building but she was suddenly pelted with a raw egg.

“Slut!” Someone shouted.

She felt tears welling in her eyes as a couple of people around laughed, no one looking at her with the least bit of sympathy. Some people had the decency to pretend she wasn’t there, but that was the extent of it. She sprinted into the building and up to her room as fast as she could, her hands fumbling as she struggled to unlock the door.

Margaery was gone, so Sansa slammed and locked the door behind her as she collapsed onto her bed and cried. Things were escalating and she knew Joffrey was behind it, but there was nothing she could do about it except for wait for people to move on. Joffrey had a lot of influence around campus, given he was a member of one of the most prestigious fraternities, but she never thought things would get as bad as they had.

The egg smell was starting to get to her, so she changed into a t-shirt and some yoga pants (something she would never allow herself to be seen in public wearing) and tossed her egg-soaked clothes into her hamper. 

Her college life had been perfect up until a week ago. Sure, Joffrey hadn’t been the man of her dreams, but he was always pleasant to her and at least pretended to care. For a moment, she contemplated begging for his forgiveness, but she knew where that road would leave her and she didn’t want to think about how bad that could end up.

Instead, she sat at her desk and distracted herself by studying. If she could keep her grades up, at least there would be one thing about her first semester in college that she wouldn’t have to be ashamed of.

xxxxxxx

As Jon pulled away from his sister’s building, he started to think about what was happening. He was unsure as to what Sansa’s intentions were. Did she need someone to talk to? Was she just trying to build a relationship between them? He honestly had no idea as to what was happening but he knew it had to do with the week before.

Knowing vaguely what had happened to her sent him into a rage. But there was nothing he could do about it; he’d made a promise to her that he intended to keep. And he knew why she’d asked him to make that promise. No doubt Robb or their father would fly off the handle and try to take the matter into their own hands in whatever way they could. Knowing them, they might even try to get Sansa to transfer schools. Not that Jon was against the idea, but he didn’t want her to get forced into anything she didn’t want to do—she’d had enough of that already.

The trip back to his apartment was short and he wondered what he was going to do with himself for the rest of the day. Sam was gone, so he wouldn’t be able to harass him about anything. His day would probably end up being him trying to clean his bedroom but end up making a bigger mess. He’d just unlocked the front door when his phone started ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Jon,” his friend Daenerys’ voice came back at him. “Are you up to anything exciting today?”

“Not at all. Why?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch movies. I need a study break and you’re the only person I know on campus.”

There were a lot of things about Daenerys Targaryen that confused the hell out of Jon. One of those things was that someone so completely charismatic and charming didn’t seem to make very many friends and instead had hundreds of acquaintances that she never got mildly close to. Apparently Jon had done something right, because he was one of her only friends (and she was one of his).

“Yeah, that sounds alright to me.”

“Great, I’ll see you in a few then!” Daenerys hung up and Jon shoved his phone into his pocket. It only took him a moment to relock the apartment door and wander down a floor and a couple apartments over to reach her apartment. He knocked gently and he heard a, “Come in!”

Daenerys’ apartment was always perfectly clean and tidy. She lived in it by herself, making it the perfect place to hang out. Jon noticed her sitting on the couch with books stacked up next to her. He knew he should probably start studying for his finals, but he honestly wasn’t that worried about it. There were a couple of weeks left and most of his classes had been easy.

Jon kicked his shoes off by the door and wandered over to the couch to sit down. “What did you plan on watching?”

With a shrug, the blonde stood up and made her way to the bookcase where her movies were presumably stored. “I think a comedy would lighten the mood.” She grabbed a disc and placed it gently into the player before coming back to the couch.

They watched a couple of comedies, none of which Jon had seen before, but he enjoyed them nonetheless. Eventually Daenerys ordered a pizza for the two of them to share (Jon ate most of it) and they ended up talking.

“I’m not sure what’s up with my sister lately,” Jon said suddenly.

“Why do you say that?”

“Well…” He felt bad betraying Sansa’s trust and telling Daenerys, but he also knew that she would never know if Daenerys found out. So he ended up explaining the entire situation to her while she nodded, a look of contemplation and understanding on her face.

“I think I’ve heard some things floating around about her, actually,” Daenerys admitted. 

“What?”

Daenerys sat up and crossed her legs. “People have been saying things like she got wasted at a party and started ripping her clothes off and that Joffrey Baratheon tried to fix her alcoholism but instead she broke up with him.”

Jon felt himself fill with a white, hot rage. “That’s so untrue—you should have seen her when I picked her up!”

She raised her hands. “I’m not saying I believe it, I’m saying that’s what’s going around. If I would have known it was your sister they were talking about I would’ve said something sooner. It’s been happening all week.”

There was nothing he could do about this except try to talk to Sansa. “I’ll try to get her to start talking about what really happened.”

The blonde shook her head. “I think that would just make things worse for her. The only thing that can happen at this point is waiting for it to blow over. If she tries to defend herself, they’ll just use it as fuel for the fire against her and turn Joffrey into a victim. That’s the opposite of what needs to happen, so she should just do her best to ignore it. And that’s exactly what she’s doing, as far as I can tell.”

Jon felt helpless. Even if he and Sansa weren’t close, she was still his little sister and he had to do everything he could to protect her and keep her safe. He’d already done a shitty job of that by letting the whole thing happen in the first place. But he hoped that maybe, if the two of them could build some sort relationship, she would feel comfortable asking him for help when she needed it. “I just feel like I should do something.”

“You should. Just be there for her; maybe ask if she needs anything. Based on what you’ve told me, I don’t know if she feels like you’re there for her out of obligation as her brother or because you truly care. She’s probably afraid of you and what you’d think of her if she confided in you.”

The second thing about Daenerys Targaryen that confused the hell out of Jon was that she always seemed to hit the nail head on.


	4. Chapter 4

Sansa was surprised when Jon first texted her asking if she wanted to study together at around 8 o’clock that night. She didn’t have any plans except staying in the room, so she’d told him yes. Her entire relationship with Jon was growing quickly and of that she was glad; he didn’t resent her. Unless his concern for her well-being was outweighing his indifference to her, Sansa couldn’t really tell. But she was glad that she and Jon were forming some semblance of a relationship. Studying was something she would have done with Robb, if he were here (mostly to make sure he studied at all) so she felt more than happy to oblige Jon’s request.

That was why she stood waiting, as ever, at the entrance to her hall. It was too cold to wait outside and she had a clear enough view of the parking lot from where she stood, so she waited as patiently as she could. Her backpack was slung over her shoulder, full of her heavy textbooks and notebooks, and she really hoped Jon arrived before her back started aching too bad.

When Jon’s car pulled up, she walked outside and got in without a second thought. “Hello, Jon.”

“Hello, Sansa.”

They sat in a comfortable silence as Jon drove them to the library. It was bound to be packed with finals starting tomorrow and she hoped they’d be able to find someplace to study together. The parking garage by the library was nearly full and it took Jon a couple minutes to find a place to park.

It was cold out and starting to snow, so Sansa was glad when they entered the warmth of the library. 

“It’s going to take forever to find a table,” she said quietly.

Jon shook his head and looked at her with a small grin. “Once you’ve been here a while you’ll start to figure out how things work. Follow me.”

Sansa was curious and followed Jon to the third floor of the library. She wasn’t sure what he’d meant because every table they’d passed on their way in had been in use. Did he expect the crowds to thin out the higher they climbed?

Jon finally approached a private room where a boy was asleep on the table. Jon tapped the table next to his head and the boy groggily looked at him. “Hey Jon, your turn.” The boy stood, stretched, took a minute to gather everything, and eventually left just as Jon sat at the table.

“Who was that?” Sansa asked.

“That’s my friend Pyp.” Jon started pulling his things out of his backpack. “The way this works is you make sure someone is here to claim the room, and then your group of friends can take turns inside of it. As long as someone is always in the room, you’ll have a place to study.

Impressed, Sansa started pulling out her own books to study from. “I think I’m feeling a little okay about most of my exams,” she said after a couple of minutes. “I’ve been studying for weeks.”

Jon shrugged. “It’s hard to tell. Depends on your professor and what they decide to do for the final. Sometimes studying will help and sometimes it’s like there was never enough time in the day to know as much as your professors ask you to know.”

They spent most of the time in silence. Sansa poured over her textbooks and took notes while Jon did the same. The room was almost uncomfortably quiet, but there wasn’t much she could do about it without disturbing either Jon or the other students studying. She let out a soft sigh and stared at the page, not absorbing anything.

People outside their room began to stand up in leave in huge groups. Jon looked up from his books and stood up, stretching. “It’s about time. We’ve been here forever.”

“Time for what?”

“The midnight scream.”

“Oh.” Sansa had heard of it, of course, but conveniently forgot about it almost immediately. She was not the type to do anything as ridiculous as screaming in the middle of the night during finals week. “I think I’ll just stay in here and watch the room.”

“Come on, Sansa, everybody does it.”

She frowned. “It’s ridiculous. You can do it, but I’m going to keep studying. I have a lot I want to go over again before my exam tomorrow.”

“Take a break! We’ve been here for almost four hours.”

Sansa hesitated, but finally muttered a, “Fine,” and walked with Jon down the stairs and outside. It was still freezing out, but no one other than Sansa seemed to mind that much. She finally turned to Jon and said, “This is so dumb. I’m not going to scream.”

“The whole point is to relieve stress. You can’t tell me you weren’t getting bored and a little bit stressed in there.” Jon checked his phone. “We have three minutes still. I promise if you do it you won’t regret it.”

Sansa highly doubted that, but she let out a long sigh and Jon grinned like he’d just won something.

“Don’t look so smug,” she said.

“Don’t act so ornery,” he replied, shoving her gently. That brought a small smile to her face and she did have to admit that getting away from the room was helping her feel a little bit better.

Jon kept his phone out to watch the clock turn, as many other people did, and the everyone that had just been studying in the library erupted into a series of yells, shouts, and screeches. Jon participated instantly, his voice being the only one Sansa could distinguish. He looked at her expectantly as the Scream continued, and she let out a quick sigh, closed her eyes, and let out a tiny screech.

Her brother smiled at her and she felt herself smiling as well. She did it again, only this time it was loud and full of energy. Sansa could feel all of her stress lifting from her shoulders and relief soon washed over her. Nothing mattered in that brief minute; Joffrey, his friends, school, making sure her things were packed for the month of Christmas break, her worries about Jon only trying to fill his obligations as her big brother… they were all things that she could forget about for a minute.

Arya screamed when she was upset and Sansa had always thought her immature for doing so. But now she could see why her sister did it and why the Midnight Scream was a thing across most campuses in the nation.

The yells finally died down as it turned to be 12:01 and Jon smiled at her as they walked back inside. “See, didn’t that help a little?” His voice was still strong, but a little raspy.

“You could say that,” Sansa said.

Despite the way they had ignored each other their entire lives, Sansa felt like Jon knew how to handle her better than any of her other siblings. He didn’t get frustrated and give up and he didn’t try to force her into anything. Jon was a lot like her mother, actually, with the way he knew when to push and when to leave her alone and just be there for her.

Sansa wondered what he would think if she ever told him that.


	5. Chapter 5

When Sansa arrived back into the room after her final exam, she felt relief for the first time ever since the night she spent at the library with her brother.

Finals had taken a lot out of her and she felt completely dead inside; but she was done with the semester now and she would be spending ten hours in a car so she could go home and see her family. And the teasing from Joffrey’s crew had died down, but she wasn’t sure if that was because of finals or if they had finally gotten bored with tossing eggs at her and jeering at her when she walked by. Margaery had been worried and had wanted Sansa to take it to at least their RA, but Sansa knew it would be fine if she left it alone. Things would only escalate if she tried to stop it.

Her clothes were already in a suitcase on her bed, waiting for her to go home for a month. She and Jon had agreed on leaving that afternoon and staying at a hotel for the night so they could break up the drive. Sansa had a few more things to pack (her laptop, chargers, and iPod) and then she went downstairs, locking the door behind her.

Margaery was in an exam at the moment and Sansa didn’t have time to wait for her, so they’d said goodbye in the morning. Sansa sent her friend a text telling her she was going now and wished her a safe journey home.

Jon was already waiting outside by his car, but he was standing and smoking a cigarette—Sansa had no idea he smoked and finding out made her frown. When he spotted Sansa, he leaned back inside the car and the trunk popped open, welcoming her suitcase.

Sansa didn’t say anything as Jon lifted her suitcase and heaved it into the back of his car.

“Christ, what do you have in that thing?” He asked, pressing the cigarette to his lips once more before dropping it on the ground and crushing it with his foot.

Frowning, Sansa said, “I didn’t know you smoked.”

The grin that had previously been on his face turned into a look of confusion. “I’m sorry?”

“Smoking is bad for you.”

Sansa watched him roll his eyes and go into the front seat of his car. She followed him, sitting on the passenger side and shutting the door behind her. Awaiting an explanation, she watched as he started the car and put it into gear so he could pull out of the parking lot.

Jon didn’t look like he was about to give an explanation, so Sansa continued. “Why do you smoke?”

He heaved a great sigh and she thought maybe she had pushed a little too far, but she was too concerned about his health to care. Jon didn’t look at her when he said, “I don’t do it often, alright? It’s not something you need to worry about.”

“Of course it is!” She exclaimed. “If you’re slowly killing yourself, then—“

“Please, just… Let it be, okay?”

Sansa stopped talking, hearing herself in his voice, begging him not to question her or tell anyone… and she nodded. “Okay.”

There were several minutes full of awkward silence before Sansa slowly reached over to turn on his radio, hoping he wouldn’t mind. He had a CD in the player and Sansa recognized the music instantly.

“Is that Michael Bublé?”

Jon nodded slowly, his cheeks a little flushed. “You can change it if you want. I have other things we can listen to, or the radio’s always an option.”

“No, I love Michael Bublé!” She couldn’t believe her always dark and mysterious brother listened to music like this. Perhaps that was why his cheeks were pink and he didn’t look over at her. Rather than teasing him about it, Sansa just smiled and turned the radio up a little. Jon tapped his fingers on the steering wheel along with the music and Sansa hummed quietly enough that she was sure he couldn’t hear her.

Jon was the only thing keeping her happy at the moment. She tried her best not to think about everything Joffrey had done to her and how badly things had escalated, but it really was affecting her negatively. She didn’t know what to do to make them stop except wait for them to move on and it didn’t seem like they were going to move on anytime soon. But she was finally forming something with her brother and Sansa knew she’d always cared for him, even if she didn’t know it before. Jon was just as much her brother as Robb or Bran or Rickon.

She watched him, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and very subtly mouthing the words to the song they were listening to. Watching Jon, being with him, she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. _Are you sure you love him as your brother?_ A voice asked in her head. It was out of nowhere and she had no idea how to handle the voice at the back at her mind nagging and teasing and telling her how misguided she was.

Sansa swung her head to stare out the window, her cheeks turning a shade of pink. This was horrible. She had to stop trying to befriend him immediately, or at least until she felt more mentally stable.

That had to be it. She was so desperate for someone to care for her after everything that had happened that she’d immediately clung to the first person to show her anything. And that person just happened to be her brother Jon. But she could fix this. She could still be a good sister to him, she just had to…

Sansa Stark tried to deny it, but she was most definitely developing a crush on her older brother.

Jon said something to her and Sansa snapped out of her thoughts. “What?” She asked.

“Did you eat already or do you want to stop to get something?”

She hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and it was nearing dinnertime. Hunger was the last thing on Sansa’s mind, but growing up a socialite, she knew how to compose herself in front of people that flustered her. “I could eat, if you want to stop somewhere.”

Jon didn’t reply and instead got off on the next exit, pulling into a McDonald’s parking lot. Sansa had to try extremely hard to not whine like she would any other time someone suggested they go to the horrendous restaurant full of nothing but grease and carbs. She didn’t want to seem too vapid in front of Jon. _This is stupid_ , she told herself. _Jon is your brother. Why do you care what he thinks of you?_ Despite the thoughts, she quietly got out of the car and followed him inside.

The menu wasn’t foreign to her, but there wasn’t anything that she wanted either. Jon ordered quickly, leaving her on the spot to order something at random. Deciding chicken nuggets were a safe bet, she got those and a water to drink.

They sat down to eat and Sansa had just opened her honey mustard when Jon said, “I’m sorry about snapping at you earlier about the smoking thing.”

Sansa had long forgotten the incident, other things plaguing her thoughts. “It’s alright. I shouldn’t bug you about things.”

He stared down at his food as if he was contemplating something. “Remember what I told you about Ygritte?”

Nodding, she took a sip from her water. She stared at him expectantly, but he didn’t meet her gaze for several seconds and she began to grow worried. _Was Ygritte back in the picture?_

“Well, she had me doing a lot worse shit than smoking tobacco,” Jon said finally. “I don’t want to get into it, but I only smoke when I feel like I really need to or I’ll do something worse.”

Sansa was surprised, but only a little. She vaguely remembered being in high school while John was off at college and their father had to drive all the way up to bail him out of jail. Her mother had been furious, but Robb managed to calm her down. Sansa hadn’t been interested enough to inquire further, but she was sure it had something to do with what he’d just told her.

“I’m sorry for pushing you about it,” she said quietly. “It’s none of my business.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Jon brought up their finals and they discussed school until they finished eating, but there were several things floating around in Sansa’s head the entire time. Was Jon really better now? What would he think if she told him about her stupid crush? Did he even think of her as anything more than a sister he was obligated to cart around and take care of?

The rest of their drive to the hotel was comfortably quiet. They arrived at around ten that night and Sansa immediately dragged her entire suitcase up the stairs to their room and changed into the pair of pajamas she’d left on the top.

In the bathroom, she was alone for the first time since her little revelation.

_You can’t do this_ , she told herself. Her reflection stared back at her in the mirror. _You don’t need to cling to the first guy that treats you nicely—especially if that guy is your fucking brother._

A frown graced her features as she stared at herself in the mirror. _What’s wrong with me?_

When she finally left, Jon had already changed into a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He had the television on while he read a book on his bed. He hardly acknowledged her except to get up and brush his teeth.

Normally if she didn’t know what to do, she would talk to Margaery or her best friend from high school, Jeyne. But neither of them could know about this problem or they would think she was more fucked up than even Sansa considered herself.

No, this was a problem she had to deal with on her own.

When Jon came out of the bathroom, she had already plugged her phone in to charge and crawled under the covers of her bed. Sansa highly doubted her ability to sleep that night, but she owed it to herself to try. And if Jon needed a relief driver tomorrow, she had to be prepared. Although she doubted Jon would ask anything of her; he never did. He seemed to live to serve Sansa’s every whim and require nothing in return.

Earlier in the day, their drive back home seemed like a fun way to get to know each other. But now there was nothing Sansa dreaded more in the world than spending several hours alone with her brother. _The brother you have a sick crush on_.


	6. Chapter 6

Christmas had always been Sansa’s favorite time of year. She loved wearing coats and scarves, baking with her mother, and sitting down to watch The Santa Clause with everyone while the fireplace warmed the house. 

Things were different this year. Her mother’s father wasn’t doing very well and she’d gone to see him before Christmas a day after Jon and Sansa had arrived back from school. That left Sansa to make the cookies on her own. It wasn’t upsetting in the slightest, but she did feel somewhat lonely while her father took the rest of her siblings sledding. Sledding wasn’t her favorite thing to do, but the familial atmosphere of Christmas was her favorite part and baking cookies just wasn’t the same without Rickon pestering her and asking to have a spoonful of cookie dough.

Sansa was almost glad for the alone time. Ever since she climbed into Jon’s car, she’d been around other people and unable to take a while to think about things. Her main concern at the moment was the little “crush” she was starting to get on Jon. 

Not only was it completely ridiculous and wrong, but it would only end up in heartbreak. Jon was her brother, after all, and brothers didn’t fall in love with their little sisters. Sansa tried to imagine herself getting a crush on Robb, but couldn’t even bring herself to stomach the thought. Why was Jon different?

She had her laptop on the counter near her, far enough away that she could listen to music on it but not have it get in the way of her various bowls, measuring cups, and ingredients. Humming along to the music, Sansa continued to mix her cookie dough by hand (she’d always preferred doing it this way, using a mixer felt like cheating when it came to Christmas cookies).

When she finally put the first batch of cookies in the oven, Sansa took her laptop to the kitchen table. 

There was no shame in searching the internet for her answers, was there?

To be safe, she opened an incognito tab in her browser and typed in: “I think I have a crush on my brother.”

She spent several minutes sifting through the first page of her search results, but all of the answers she found were useless. People said it was disgusting or that they were mistaking their sibling affection as a crush. But Sansa had four other siblings and could easily tell that she was not making a mistake in identifying her feelings.

Closing the page, she felt defeated. There was nowhere for her to turn to that wouldn’t end up with someone giving her a weird look and trying to convince her to check herself into a psych ward for a while until she could sort out a few thoughts.

The oven beeped and she stood to take them out of the oven, replacing them with more. Just as she began to place the finished cookies on a cooling rack, Rickon barged in through the front door, covered in snow. He looked at her and his eyes lit up. “You have cookies!”

“They’re not frosted yet.”

Rickon sprinted over to where she stood, not even bothering to take off his snow-covered boots, and grabbed two cookies off the cooling rack. “Rickon!”

He gave her a sly grin and ran away before she could confiscate his spoils. Sansa heaved a sigh as the rest of her family piled into the kitchen and each took a cookie of their own. She didn’t even bother to try stopping them: without her mother, any attempt at keeping them away was hopeless.

As everyone else departed, Arya opened the fridge and stared inside for several minutes before letting out a whine and slamming the door shut. “There’s nothing to eat here.”

“Well, if you hadn’t all just savaged the Christmas cookies, I would have frosted one for you.”

Arya shrugged, sitting down at the kitchen table. Sansa didn’t think anything of it until she saw the search still open on her laptop, right where Arya was sitting. Her heart dropped into her stomach but she turned around and did her best to play it safe. She could always just claim she was searching for a friend or… a research paper.

“How was sledding?” she asked suddenly.

Shrugging, Arya slumped in her chair. “It was alright, but it’s really cold. It wasn’t as much fun because the ground was covered in ice and not snow, so crashing was a lot more painful.”

Don’t look at the computer, she told herself repeatedly.

“Did you do anything else?”

“No.” Arya stood up and stretched. “I’m tired, though. I’m going to go nap.” With that, she left.

Once Arya was out of sight, Sansa dove at her computer and clicked “close” on the browser several times, causing her laptop to freeze.

“Computers generally work better when you don’t try to smash them.”

_Oh, fuck me._ Sansa turned and nervously faced Jon. “It froze when I tried to close something.”

“Let me take a look at it,” Jon said. He reached over to grab it but she slammed the screen down hard enough to be surprised that she didn’t hear the sound of glass breaking on the inside. 

“I’ll just restart it later. No big deal.”

Jon eyed her suspiciously, but didn’t question her further. Her heart fluttered in her chest a little as their eyes met and a voice in her head started chanting “ _stupid stupid stupid stupid_.”

Winter break was going to be long and horrible, she finally decided.

xxxxx

Even though colleges were on break, Arya, Bran, and Rickon still had a week left before they went on break. Their father was at work and Robb had gone to hang out with a couple of his friends, leaving Jon and Sansa as the only ones in the house for the day.

Sansa made the two of them macaroni and cheese from the box and they sat down to watch movies together. She was doing her best to act like she would around Robb, but she couldn’t keep herself from wanting to kiss his pouty lips and run her hands through his beard. _All hope is lost_ , she told herself. She had fallen too hard, too fast for her god damn brother and there was no getting out of it.

Even if by some tiny miscalculation on Jon’s part he felt mildly the same about her, there was no way they would be able to do anything about it. It didn’t help that they were watching the early Star Wars movies, of all things.

With everything that happened, Sansa wondered if she could talk to Jon about how she felt without making him uncomfortable around her. She knew it was a long shot and had little desire to risk it, but she had to do something and Jon wouldn’t talk to anyone else about it. He was good at keeping secrets.

Taking a small breath, she forced herself to ask, “Hey, Jon?”

“Hm?”

Sansa hesitated, not meeting his eyes. “I think… one of my friends might have a crush on her brother.”

Jon gave her an odd look that she couldn’t quite read. He didn’t look like he wanted to say anything, but instead just waited for her to continue.

“She doesn’t know what to do… And she knows it’s wrong and horrible and she hates herself for it, but she can’t help feeling the way she does and…” Sansa could tell Jon wasn’t buying her “friend” story. She felt sick to her stomach and didn’t know how to save face at this point. 

“Are you sure it’s a friend you’re talking about?” he asked quietly.

In the boldest move Sansa Stark had ever made in her life, she leaned over and kissed Jon on the lips. He did nothing and she felt stupid and ridiculous, but as she went to pull away he gently pulled her back to him and leaned back so they were lying with Sansa on top of him. Butterflies exploded in her stomach as he began to kiss her back, running a hand down her back to rest on her hip. His other hand rested on her head and hers were on his chest.

The kissing lasted a few glorious minutes until Jon finally yanked his head to the side to pull away from her. Breathing heavily, he pushed her off of him and sat back up. Sansa didn’t know what to think about the action, but she tried to even out her breaths and stared at him. His eyes were on the floor and he looked ashamed of himself.

“We can’t do this,” he said finally. “I can’t use you like this.”

“Use me?” She didn’t know what to do. “I kissed you.”

“Yeah, but…” He stood up and started pacing the length of the living room. The movie was still playing in the background, but neither of them paid attention to whatever was happening on the screen. “I’m your brother. I’m supposed to protect you and keep you safe, not… this.”

Sansa was surprised that he hadn’t shoved her away or called her insane. But the way he was acting about it was exactly what she thought she could expect from the honorable Jon Stark. “I want to, Jon.”

He shook his head. “You’ve been through a lot recently. It’s probably just… some sort of reaction because I was the one there to help you when you needed help. As for me, well, now Catelyn has a reason to think I’m ruining her otherwise perfect family.”

“Jon, it’s not like that,” she insisted. Sansa wasn’t even sure of that herself, but she knew that he made her happy and that if she didn’t succeed at convincing him, he would run away and she would go back to having no relationship with him. And that was exactly the opposite of what she wanted while she was at school. “I never realized it before, but you’re so much different than the other guys I’ve dated, and not just because we’re siblings. You’ve done things with me that I never would have been able to do with Robb, like that midnight scream thing we did. No one else would have been able to convince me to go out and do that.”

Jon looked like he didn’t know what to do. “I know that as soon as you realize how fucked up this is, you’ll regret everything. Everything will be awkward at every family event and people will notice.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.”

“Jon, please.” She stood up to stand near him, grabbing his hand. He flinched but didn’t yank his hand away like she expected he might. “We don’t need to make ourselves miserable. You’ve been the only thing keeping me happy ever since… that night. And I know this isn’t just on a whim, at least not for me.”

He didn’t say anything, but instead looked down at their intertwined hands. Sansa thought maybe she was getting somewhere. “How would we even do it?”

“Times like now, where we’re the only ones home… back at school we would have your apartment when your roommate wasn’t home, or my dorm room when Margaery was out…”

Although he didn’t say anything, Sansa could tell she had finally convinced him. There was a twisting in her stomach and she felt pretty disgusting, but at the moment she didn’t care. Jon met her stare and she gave him a small, encouraging smile. 

After a while, Jon finally let out a sigh and said, “This is so fucked up.” 

Then he kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably sounds rushed but I meant to have the Christmas chapters done by, well, Christmas, and since I started the fic so close to Christmas I just couldn't handle doing so much all at once. So the next chapter is going to be Christmas/New Years and I'll do my best to have it uploaded by tonight or tomorrow sometime. Any critique is welcome, especially since I've never written any sort of incest before. If you're still reading, thank you! It's been really motivating to see kudos and even just views on this fic. It's probably one of the reasons I'm still motivated to write. So thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

Christmas was always a fun time in the Stark household and with Sansa feeling the weight of her secret being lifted from her shoulders, it only made her feel better. They awakened early on Christmas morning by Rickon and all piled into the living room. It had always been Robb’s job to pass out the presents, so he sat next to the Christmas tree and began shuffling around. With six children, the area around their tree was always packed with many gifts on Christmas morning. Although none of them still believed in Santa, their parents (just her father this year, as her mother was still with their sick grandfather) continued the tradition of not setting the gifts from them out until Christmas morning.

Sansa was seated on the couch next to Bran, like she sat every year, while the rest of them sat on the floor. Everyone ripped open their gifts as soon as Robb handed them out (Robb himself paused every couple of gifts to open a gift of his own) and there were “thank you!”s shouted across the room in a flurry of excitement. It was nearly impossible to tell who received what with all the craziness happening at once, but that’s how the Stark family Christmas always happened and Sansa wouldn’t have had it any other way.

She’d received a lot of clothes, perfumes, and various other things Arya considered to be “too girly” but Sansa was happy with everything. Despite Arya’s mock-disgust with girly things, she’d gotten Sansa a couple of very cute fashion scarves that she couldn’t wait to wear (and she wondered briefly who Arya had conned into helping her pick them out).

Her eyes only met Jon’s for a moment when she opened his gift—a pair of snow boots and a pair of thick wool tights. Jon gave her a tiny playful grin and she felt butterflies. 

After everyone had their gifts open, they all started hauling things to their bedrooms and picking up the wrapping paper. Since her mother was absent, it was Sansa’s duty to start preparing Christmas dinner for the family. She’d never done it by herself before, but now was a good a time as any to start. 

Once in her bedroom, she began to organize her gifts and sort through them, all the while thinking about everything that had happened recently. Thinking seemed to be all she did lately. 

Even though they’d been a ‘thing’ for a little more than a week now, Jon still quite obviously felt uncomfortable with the idea of doing anything with his little sister. Sansa didn’t blame him, as her giddiness faded away and was replaced with anxiety and disgust with herself. She was starting to wonder if Jon was right and she would regret this entire situation eventually, or if perhaps he would just end it rather than struggle with what was right or wrong. Maybe they had rushed into things, but there was no way to turn back without ruining everything. _You’re going to ruin everything if you go any further, idiot._

Heaving a great sigh, she gave up on folding her new clothes and dropped down onto her bed so she could stare at the ceiling for a while. In a rush of excitement, she’d kissed him. And she really couldn’t decide whether that would ruin any potential they had at any sort of relationship—whether it was sibling-like or romantic. Sansa hoped more than anything that she hadn’t pressured Jon into something he was uncomfortable with, but that was exactly what she felt like she did. Even if he had the same feelings for her, he was only trying to be the logical one. 

He’d always been like that. His honor was by the far the most important thing to him, which was probably one of the reasons Sansa had feelings for him in the first place. Jon was exactly like the princes in the movies she used to watch when she was little. She’d loved those movies and had always wanted to marry a handsome prince and help him rule a wonderful kingdom. Perhaps that was exactly why she thought dating Joffrey was a good idea; his family ran a huge company and he would be able to treat her like a princess. He seemed charming enough at first, but things went sour not long after they became official.

Her favorite movie was always Sleeping Beauty. She felt the sudden urge to watch it again, but she knew she had to start dinner soon since her mother wasn’t home to do it and there was no way she was letting the rest of them near the kitchen. 

As she exited her room, she wondered if maybe Jon was Prince Phillip and if she was Princess Aurora. Shaking her head, she wondered if she would ever be able to admit to herself that life wasn’t a fairytale.

She wandered out to the kitchen humming Once Upon a Dream with her laptop in hand so she would have baking music. It didn’t take her long to start preparing the turkey. It was still before noon, but the Stark family needed a rather large turkey given that there were so many of them. Even without their mother there were seven, but Sansa heard Theon Greyjoy walk in the front door at one point and knew he’d gotten into a fight with his father again. It was never really a surprise to see him on family holidays, the Starks welcoming him with open arms when his father refused him for one reason or another.

The oven beeped, telling Sansa it was preheated, and she carefully placed the turkey in and set the timer. Since the most important part of dinner was taken care of, she took a few minutes to open her laptop and turn on her Disney playlist that wasn’t entirely composed of Disney music.

She’d done the pies the night before (two apple, a lemon meringue, and a pumpkin) so the next thing on her Christmas To-Do list was peeling the potatoes. It had always been her least favorite task, but it was something that had to be done. 

“Disney music?”

Jon’s voice made her jump a little, but she turned to face him quickly. Their eyes met and she felt herself smile a little before saying, “You know me and my princess movies.”

He smiled back at her awkwardly. “Do you need help with anything?”

Before he’d finished his sentence, she’d began her reply of, “You could peel the potatoes!”

“Sure.” Jon immediately set to work peeling the potatoes while Sansa took a moment to herself to ponder the butterflies in her stomach. After recomposing herself (he was still in his pajamas, but somehow that just made her feel a little more comfortable around him). Jon had never helped in the kitchen before, but she wasn’t sure if that was because of her mother or if he just hadn’t had an interest until now.

The song changed to one of her favorites and she hummed along with it as she got the rest of her supplies out for her day of cooking as Jon started piling peeled potatoes into a pot she’d set out for him.

Jon helped her with various other things throughout the day. Jon told her of his roommate Sam, who was apparently the most awkward guy around girls. “I’m not sure why. Most girls seem to think he’s cute enough.”

“He’s just shy,” Sansa replied, mixing together green beans and cream of mushroom soup for the green bean casserole. “Once he finds the right girl he’ll come out of his shell, I’m sure.”

Laughing, Jon said, “You haven’t met Sam. If you ever get to meet him, you’ll understand how bad he gets.”

“I’m sure I’ll meet him eventually.”

They were silent for a moment until Robb burst into the kitchen, Theon on his heels. “When’s dinner going to be ready?” Robb asked. “It’s smelling up the entire house and I’m starving.”

Sansa glanced at the oven’s timer and saw that the turkey only had another half hour left. She hadn’t realized how long they’d been cooking everything, but there was food lining the countertop and all they had left to do was bake the green bean casserole and they would be done. “There’s about half an hour left on the turkey. Why don’t you two set the table?”

“Yes m’am.” Theon saluted her mockingly and she rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored him.

Robb and Theon bustled in and out of the kitchen, making trips between there and the dining room to transport clean dishes and food. The oven beeped and Sansa felt herself relax knowing that the food was completely done and all there was left to do was eat. It was made better knowing that since she and Jon had prepared the food, it would be Arya and Rickon to wash the dishes. Sansa would pick cooking over dishes any day of the week.

Neither Robb nor Theon had entered the kitchen in a while, so Sansa after she’d carved the turkey, she and Jon took the last of the food to the dining room.

Although what they found inside the dining room was not exactly what they had been expecting. Robb had Theon pushed up against the wall and their lips were pressed together, almost no space between the two of them. While Sansa could do nothing but blink and feel extremely awkward, Jon took it upon himself to clear his throat to get their attention.

Robb jumped, pushing himself away while Theon wiped his mouth off and looked down at his feet. Sansa glanced over at Jon, who looked just as confused as she felt.

“Um,” was the only thing she could muster.

“Please don’t say anything,” Robb begged suddenly. “I don’t...”

“I won’t,” Jon promised, giving a pointed glance at Sansa.

She didn’t know what to say. It was a little shocking to see her brother kissing the boy that had nearly grown up a Stark himself, but when her eyes met Jon’s she knew she was in no place to judge. “Me either. Make a place for the turkey on the table, please.”

Theon was the one to jump into action, not saying anything. Sansa thanked him and set down the plate, Jon just behind her with the food he’d been carrying. Robb went to fetch the rest of the family, leaving Jon, Sansa, and Theon to sit in an awkward silence around the dining room table. 

Once everyone was seated, their father led them in saying Grace and they ate. Sansa did what she could to keep her mind off of Robb and Theon; they’d reminded her too much of her and Jon. What if it had been them that had gotten caught? Would anyone in their family be so willing to keep _their_ secret, if it came to that?

Sansa suspected that Jon was thinking some similar things and she hoped more than anything that this didn’t completely change his mind. If it had, then any hope they’d had for any semblance of even an acquaintanceship was gone. She absolutely refused to let that happen. 

But fortunately, after dinner she heard a knock on her door. Jon slipped in, locking the door behind him. Instead of saying anything, he kissed her gently and she responded happily, running her hands through his hair as he wrapped his tightly around her. 

Their only hope was to not make any stupid mistakes, which she hoped wouldn’t be too difficult given that Theon and Robb seemed to be the poster children for ‘how not to keep a secret relationship’. 

xxxxx

Sansa didn’t know what she expected after watching the ball drop on New Year’s. Her eyes met Jon’s for a brief second and she wanted more than anything to kiss him right at midnight. But she knew better and so did he.

Catelyn had returned from visiting Sansa’s grandfather and that only seemed to make things more difficult between them. Sansa spent a lot of time with her mother, talking and cooking and things of that nature. Only when Catelyn and Ned did things together could Sansa slip away long enough to watch a movie with Jon (even though she couldn’t lay her head on his chest while his arm was draped over her shoulder).

But tonight, things were a little easier on everyone.

Their father always allowed each of them a single glass of champagne on New Year’s (Robb, Jon, and Theon got to drink as much as they liked, being twenty three) and her parents were a little tipsy when they decided to turn in early. Arya had her friend Gendry over and they slipped off to her bedroom as well. Bran and Rickon were too distracted playing video games and Robb and Theon had disappeared to who knew where, leaving Sansa and Jon to quietly make their way to their way upstairs to their respective bedrooms.

Sansa was waiting to hear a knock on her door, but after several minutes it was still silent. With a frown, she opened the door and looked up and down the hallway to be sure no one was around. She quietly closed her bedroom door and walked a few doors down until she was facing Jon’s door.

Knocking quietly, she waited for an answer. There was the sound of something being bumped into and a quiet yelp she couldn’t quite make out, but then Jon stood facing her, rubbing his elbow.

Sansa stepped into the room, Jon closing the door behind her. She turned to face him, preparing herself for the New Year’s kiss she’d been waiting for all day. But instead Jon just stared at her curiously, making Sansa feel more than a little awkward.

“What is it?” Sansa asked.

He didn’t say anything for a long time, but eventually he slurred, “You’re just so pretty.”

Blushing, Sansa took his hand and walked him over to his bed, stepping over piles of folded clothes that he hadn’t put away. He followed without protest and sat down next to her.

Jon was a cute drunk, she decided. His cheeks were flushed and he swayed a bit, even sitting down. Sansa had no idea how much he’d had to drink or if he’d had something other than champagne, but there was no way he was enough of a lightweight to be this drunk from a single glass.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked suddenly. 

Nodding and with a smile on her face, Sansa leaned in and their lips met for a brief moment. He tasted strongly of vodka, enough to make her scrunch her nose and cough a little. “How much did you have to drink?”

“Oh… a lot.”

Immediately Sansa felt her mother hen instincts kick in. “How much is a lot?”

“Mmmm…” Jon fell back on his bed, closing his eyes. “A lot.”

Sansa had been around Joffrey’s frat parties enough to know how to handle someone who had too much to drink, but she didn’t want to risk anyone seeing her in Jon’s room in the morning. 

Then again, she’d slept with Robb in his room before after he’d gotten back from a party obviously trashed. Was it really that different with Jon?

“Sansa, I’m sleepy.”

She donned her mother voice and said, “Go to sleep then, love. Make sure you lay on your side, alright? I’ll be back in a minute.”

She grabbed a couple of blankets and a pillow from her bedroom, dragging it all back to Jon’s room where he was laying with his eyes closed. It didn’t take her long to make a makeshift bed for herself on the floor. She didn’t climb into her bed, however, instead she sat on the floor next to Jon’s bed and felt his forehead with the back of his hand. With a sigh of relief, Sansa noted that he wasn’t any cooler than usual. Maybe she was being a little paranoid; he hadn’t even seemed trashed, just a little drunk, but she worried anyway.

In her living memory, she hadn’t ever seen Jon drunk. Maybe he hid it well or maybe she just hadn’t cared enough to notice, but she was worried about him all the same. _You’re ridiculous,_ she told herself. And maybe she was. But it was better to be a little over-the-top than it was to let someone die of alcohol poisoning. Especially since she wasn’t sure how much he’d had to drink or if it had all made its way through his system yet. 

That was always her primary worry when it came to taking care of her drunken friends. They seemed fine for the moment, but suddenly their breathing would slow far below a healthy level, their skin would grow cool, and she had nothing left to do but call an ambulance. 

After an hour, Sansa decided that Jon was probably alright enough for her to sleep. She piled a few pillows behind him so he couldn’t roll over onto his back in his sleep before lying down herself and closing her eyes.

They’d be going back to school soon and she hoped more than anything that they could have a nice, semi-normal relationship while they were there. Not everyone would know they were siblings, but they would still have to be wary of people that might know them or know someone they know.

As she finally fell asleep, the last thing she hoped for was that Joffrey’s friends finally decided to leave her alone once they got back. A month away from school was a long time for things to dissipate, but Joffrey had never been one to let go of grudges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only one day late, at least, but it's a little longer. Hopefully things are easier to keep up with now that I'm not trying to keep up with the holidays! If you want to follow me on tumblr, it's [jodem](http://jodem.tumblr.com) just like my name here! I'll probably post updates on progress and things like that there if you're interested. Thank you so much for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Sansa had seen the picture floating all over her Twitter feed a couple hours before she and Jon had arrived back on campus. She hadn’t even realized they’d taken any pictures of her that night, but she wasn’t sure why she was surprised that they had or that there was a picture of her now floating around Twitter and people she used to consider friends were replying to it. They called her all sorts of things (slut, disgusting, whore, trashy bitch) and she honestly had no idea how to react to everything except to allow her eyes to well up with tears.

Her phone vibrated and she saw a text from Margaery, telling her to not check Twitter. _Too late,_ Sansa replied. It went off again almost instantly, but she dropped it back into her purse without bothering to see what Margaery had to say. 

Any semblance of dignity Sansa Stark had left was now completely and utterly destroyed. 

That was his goal, she knew. But she didn’t think it ever would have gone this far. She didn’t think it was possible for anyone, especially someone she thought she had loved, to be as cruel as Joffrey Baratheon.

“Sansa? Are you alright?” Jon’s voice called to her, but she didn’t know how to tell him what she’d just seen and instead focused on staring out the window. She didn’t even bother to pretend she didn’t want to cry. Everything was a blur; she hadn’t even realized Jon was slowing down to pull over until they were at a stop at the side of the road. 

“I’m all over the internet,” she whispered, tears continuing to stream down her face. “They…”

Jon gave her a look and gently grabbed her hand. “What happened?”

Sansa’s phone started ringing in her purse and when she made no move to answer, Jon reached inside to grab it. “Hello?”

She hardly paid any attention while Jon spoke to the caller. Her eyes followed his hands, not wanting to meet his eyes. He gripped the steering wheel and his hand tightened around her phone. It wasn’t difficult to tell that he was angry. By the way he spoke, Sansa guessed Margaery had called after an unanswered text message or something of the sort.

When he finally finished, he stayed silent for several minutes. The car stayed running but he made no move to put the car back on the road.

“I’m going to kill him,” he said quietly.

“It’s—“

“No.” Jon’s eyes met hers despite her attempts to gaze away from him. The way he was looking at her scared her, but Sansa knew she could trust him and made no move to gaze away. His face softened and he lifted a finger to wipe a tear from her eye. “He’s not going to get away with this.”

Sansa sniffed, gently nodding her head even though she didn’t believe him. Jon unbuckled his seatbelt and wrapped her in his arms. It helped, though not as much as she would have hoped it would. They sat at the side of the road for a long time, Sansa sobbing into Jon’s chest as he did his best to soothe her. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed gentle circles onto her back, all the while whispering, “It’s okay.”

Once Sansa had calmed down enough, they finished their drive back to the school. Jon carried all of her things to her room, where Margaery already sat waiting. Immediately, Margaery was all over Sansa, touching her face and talking so quickly that she could only just make out what she was saying.

“I’m so sorry this happened. I’ve gotten a bunch of people to report it and most of the pictures seemed to have disappeared but I’m not sure who got a hold of them and what might happen with them…” Margaery stopped talking and instead hugged Sansa and glanced over at Jon, who had sat down Sansa’s bags and was standing awkwardly near the open door.

Sansa went to sit on her bed leaving Margaery to usher Jon inside and close the door behind them. Jon sat next to her, lopping an arm over her shoulder so she could lean into his chest. As she watched Margaery sit on her own bed, a small part of her reminded her not to get too comfortable around Jon with other people around, no matter how upset she was.

“So what are we going to do?” Jon asked after a long silence.

Margaery stared at him before quickly glancing at Sansa. “We have to at least say something to our RA.”

“No, please no.” Sansa’s voice was small and quiet, but it caught both of their attentions.

“Sansa—“ Margaery started.

“I don’t want to get anyone else involved. I’m sorry. Too many people have seen…” Sansa looked down at her hands.

Margaery focused on Jon instead. “I’m worried about what might happen if we let things continue. It won’t be hard for them to figure out her schedule and start harassing her on the streets again.”

“Again?” Jon sounded surprised and Sansa felt all of her carefully placed walls crumbling down around her.

“She didn’t tell you?” Margaery glanced worriedly at Sansa before explaining the last weeks before finals to Jon, not missing a single detail that Sansa had wanted more than anything to forget. Jon was one of the last people she wanted to know, even though the logical part of her knew he would be the one to help. Sansa was ashamed of everything that had happened and Jon was the last person she wanted to hear about it.

Sansa didn’t involve herself in the discussion much, knowing she was outmatched. Neither of them had contacted her parents or the rest of her siblings, but as she listened to them debate about it her stomach curled into a tight knot. They’d decided against it, but that hardly made her feel any better about the situation.

In the end, Sansa agreed to move into Jon’s apartment for the time being. Margaery was going to explain everything to their RA and hopefully things would get sorted out quickly.

As they made their way back out to Jon’s car, he said, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sansa took her time to answer, watching as he loaded everything into the back of his car. “I didn’t want you to think less of me.”

“What? Why would I think less of you?”

She shrugged, not wanting to talk about it any longer. Jon had seemed to get the hint as he climbed into the car and said nothing to her, but then he persisted. “You don’t blame yourself for everything that happened, do you?”

She said nothing but Jon reached out for her hand, which she grabbed hesitantly. 

“Don’t blame yourself, Sansa. You did nothing wrong.”

Their trip to Jon’s apartment was a quick one and Sansa was glad to be there; it was sort of a safe haven for her, she decided. It had been the place Jon had taken her after the incident itself, and now it was where she could hide out until things died down. Whether her and Margaery’s RA did anything or not was unknown to her, but she desperately hoped that something would change quickly.

There was a large boy sitting on the couch watching something on television. _Sam_ , Sansa reminded herself. She’d never met him before, but he was bright and cheerful and even made her smile. Jon took all of her bags into his bedroom before dropping on the couch beside Sansa, sandwiching her between him and Sam. It was as comfortable as she could feel at the moment.

She wondered if Sam knew everything or if Jon had refrained from telling Sam about it. Or had Sam seen something somewhere and recognized the last name Stark before questioning Jon about it?

“Let’s order some dinner, shall we? It’s on me.”

Jon didn’t protest, instead sinking further into the couch. “Let’s get Chinese.”

“I’m not sure I want Chinese,” Sam said.

After a playful argument that brought a small smile to Sansa’s face, they all decided that they would order chicken wings from the pizza place within walking distance to avoid delivery fees.

Sam left to get it, leaving Jon and Sansa alone in the apartment.

“Does he know?” Sansa asked suddenly.

Jon looked at her for a moment before letting out a sigh. “Yes. But he isn’t going to do anything; you can trust him.”

Sansa wasn’t sure she could, but Jon must have seen her worried expression and had decided to hesitantly press a kiss to her lips. It made her smile and helped her feel at least a little bit better. 

Their kissing continued; Jon gently pushed her back onto the couch and he was lying on top of her. Sloppy make-outs had always been Sansa’s favorite, but she’d decided that day to try and go a bit further.  
She casually slid her hand down to run across his jeans, feeling a slight bulge in his pants. Although Sansa felt herself smirk a little, Jon pulled away and breathed out a, “No.”

That was not what she’d been expecting. “Why not?”

“You’re my sister.”

“That doesn’t—“

He didn’t say anything, but the look on his face let her know that there was no arguing. Sansa knew she’d just ruined any chance she had at kissing him all night whenever Sam wasn’t looking.

“We can’t, Sansa.”

She didn’t say anything and instead took his hand into hers. “Okay.”

She knew she could change his mind eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one took a bit longer to come out than the rest. I started school this week and have been super busy with hanging out with some of my friends I didn't see over break and studying and stuff like that. I'm hoping once I get into a routine things will get back to being quick, but I guess we'll see. I'm sorry this one took so long! Hopefully the next one comes soon. Feel free to harass me on [my tumblr](http://jodem.tumblr.com/) if you feel like I've taken too long!


	9. Chapter 9

Jon’s mind had been screaming at him consistently ever since before winter break; it was telling him to stop, that this was just a little too fucked up, that everything would blow up in his face and they would both get found out and Catelyn would either kill him or force him out of the house.

He didn’t want his life to get ruined for what his brain had insisted was a tiny, lustful fling. _Why are you even lusting after your little sister?_ Jon couldn’t answer the question for himself and he could only pretend that she wasn’t his sister, that he didn’t have feelings for her, and that he and Sansa hadn’t just spent the last several minutes making out on the couch in his apartment.

The line was drawn when she’d reached below his waistline. That was one thing Jon couldn’t-- _wouldn’t_ \--allow. Their whatever-it-was had gone on for long enough and he couldn’t even believe he’d agreed to it in the first place. Sansa’s hand rested on his and it hardly did much to make him feel better. 

It was a relief when Sam returned with the food. Sam and Sansa talked about something and Jon didn’t say much at all, his mind focused on other things.

The only person Jon could even fathom talking to about this was Daenerys. Even though she’d told him stories about how her family had many incestuous relationships, Jon had never really brought himself to fully believe her for one reason or another. What if she’d just been trying to pull his strings and make him exceedingly uncomfortable?

_You know she wouldn’t do that,_ he told himself. Jon focused on watching instead of thinking. He watched Sansa laugh at something Sam had said and watched Sam turn pink and say something else. They didn’t even seem to notice that Jon was there. 

The thought ‘Sansa Tarly’ ran through Jon’s head and a tiny fire of jealousy lit in his stomach. 

Whatever Jon and Sansa had together was moving exceedingly fast. _No faster than it did with Ygritte,_ a voice told him. He didn’t want to think about Ygritte but she was the last relationship he’d had and it was the only relationship he had to compare with.

He knew this was horrible and it made him feel dirty, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. Even after a couple of weeks, he was already in too deep. The only saving grace he could have was if Sansa decided to abruptly back out before things got too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is super tiny. I'm sorry! This is a tiny little update but I wanted something from Jon's perspective and there really wasn't a better place to put it. Hopefully the next chapter is normal (or longer?!) length. Thanks for reading!


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